The chants fade and I slowly come back to my human self. Exhausted. The chants stop but the rain continues. I open my eyes and look at my watch. It’s 1:30am. I can’t get up. My self has to adjust to the human. I record this after I come back from my journey.
I feel a burst of energy and happiness and pop out of my tent. The others are gathering around and it’s pow wow time. James looks at me and says “I thought about you.” And he smiles at me like he knows. I am grateful.
I only document a fraction of what I saw, heard and felt. But I know there is a lot more. The spirits don’t allow you to remember everything, and it’s to be expected. If we see too much of that world, it can be dangerous. There are cases of near death experiences where people come back and become depressed and suicidal because they want to go back. And also, it is a huge responsibility to know too much. There are things that we cannot handle in this world. They will drive us crazy. And the others who are not awake will institutionalize us. It is best to micro-dose on the truth.
Joe puts on some music and we dance. Or…I dance. Like a happy crazy person. I tell them what I experienced and they tell us their lessons in return. We break things apart. It’s a deep dive. Our minds are so open. That itself, to be with people like that, is special.
The next morning I wake up to the music of the earth awakened. I come out and sit while Joe prepares a delicious breakfast (cooked in cast iron pots and skillets over the magic fire). Angela and Rebecca finish their meals, pack up their stuff and leave. I stay behind a little bit and Marcus asks me more questions about my experience. I tell him about the butterflies. He contemplates this. And, no joke, a massive monarch dances by, passes in front of me and flutters back into the woods. They all look at me. And a few minutes later, another one flies by. This time she is yellow. I focus on her and she stays for a minute as if to say, “look at me…are you going to remember?”
“Yes,” I say to her telepathically. “I’ll remember.”
And she descends into the woods.
*Extra crazy thing that just happened….the song You’re going to Miss Me by The 13th Floor Elevators is playing as I am editing this and thinking about V. I have never heard that song on the radio before but here it is, randomly playing. But it’s significant because I made a playlist for his birthday last week and that song is on there!